SexyFighters.com

[Marx-Paragon]

ok most of you have probably already heard alot of these, but if someone reads this and there is one they havent heard, and they get a chuckle out of it then it was worth it, so here goes.

-chuck norris can slam a revolving door
-it is siad chuck norris's tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries
-it is siad to be a great acheivement to go down niagra falls in a wooden barrel, chuck norris can go up niagra falls in a cardboard box
-chuck norris once roundhouse kicked a horse, since then that horse has been known as the giraffe
-chuck norris is the reason waldo's missing
-chuck norris doesnt teabag people, he potato sacks 'em
-there are no doors in chuck norris's house, only walls that he walks through
-chuck norris once gave jesus a birthday gift, jesus was to afriad to correct him, so now we celebrate this event on the 25th of december
-when the bogeyman goes to bed at night he checks his closet and under his bed for chuck norris
-chuck norris is corrently sueing A&E for stealing the names of his fist's "law" and "order"
-during the winter months children like to pee there names into the snow, chuck norris can piss his name into solid concrete

if i have messed any of these up i apologize and want to be corrected.

others are welcome to list some of there own on here as well

if any one missed the punch line let me know and i can explian it to you

i will post more on here later
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marx's four step guide to being popular in the fandom

1 draw boobs
2 make comics
3 cuase drama
4 repeat

[Marx-Paragon]

im back with more chuck norris jokes.

-Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
-When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist
-What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
-A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
-Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
-Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
-Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
-Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
-Chuck Norris can beat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
-Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."


others may post there own as well
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marx's four step guide to being popular in the fandom

1 draw boobs
2 make comics
3 cuase drama
4 repeat

[Axelord58]

Here's what I've got. Enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk2vqqKndRc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5prCmRzxRp8
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"If it ain't broke, just wait awhile. Because it will be.

[Drofgod969]

A couple of good ones there Paragon. A friend of mine has a book of joke on him, i can't rememer the number right now.
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yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. that's why it is called the present.
quoted by master Oogway off kong fu panda
Some weep, some cry, some make couches fly. - Katmir
Let me stand behind you in times of peace, let me stand infront of you in times of war, let me stand beside you as a equall, as a friend.

[Ashton Gray]

I've heard more of these than I care to remember. I was in the later days of my World of Warcraft playing when the huge Chuck Norris joke wave hit. A friend of mine bought a book of Chuck Norris jokes not long ago. Her favorite is "If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris still has more money than you."
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Silentium est aurum

[Marx-Paragon]

y'all want some more or should i just call it quits?
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marx's four step guide to being popular in the fandom

1 draw boobs
2 make comics
3 cuase drama
4 repeat

[Ashton Gray]

It's your thread so it's your decision. If you want a second opinion, I say keep going.
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Silentium est aurum

[Marx-Paragon]

very well, ashton.

-Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
-At his birthday party, Chuck Norris once ate an entire cake before his friends told him there was a stripper inside it.
-Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
-Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
-Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean(this one took me a second to catch the joke)
-Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
-In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
-Chuck Norris's first job was as a paperboy, there were no survivors
-Chuck Norris used to play baseball. When Babe Ruth was hailed as the better player, Chuck Norris killed him with a baseball bat to the throat. Lou Gehrig got off easy.
-The phrase 'balls to the wall' was originally conceived to describe Chuck Norris entering any building smaller than an aircraft hangar.
-Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
-With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
-70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.
-It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.

......... man i need a hobby
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marx's four step guide to being popular in the fandom

1 draw boobs
2 make comics
3 cuase drama
4 repeat

[xxthalexx]

i got a nice laugh on this thread
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don't worry I'm just your average quantum physicist
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New Fursona
http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=10247

[Marx-Paragon]

[xxthalexx]

got any more
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don't worry I'm just your average quantum physicist
----------------------
New Fursona
http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=10247

[Marx-Paragon]

since you asked....

http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia/images/thumb/1/16/Chuck_norris_toilet_paper.png/402px-Chuck_norris_toilet_paper.png chuck norris's version of toilet paper.

-Chuck Norris doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris kills all birds, with two stones. The ones in his pants.
-Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
-When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
-He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
-Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
-A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
-"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
-Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
-When Chuck Norris playes monopoly, it effects the real-world economy.
-Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
-Chuck Norris enjoys a good practical joke. His favorite is where he removes your lower intestine and pretends to make a balloon animal out of it. Then he cracks your skull open with a Volvo for not complimenting him on his balloon animal.
-Life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates. It is more like a box of Chuck Norris, roundhouse kicking you in the face. And if you receive a box of Chuck Norris, you ALWAYS know what you are going to get.
-Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.
-Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.
-Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever he wants.
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marx's four step guide to being popular in the fandom

1 draw boobs
2 make comics
3 cuase drama
4 repeat

[Axelord58]

I have researched for more 'Chuck Norris Facts' that haven't been posted or I didn't see here. Have fun!


-When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.

-Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

-The truth will set you free. Unless Chuck Norris has you, in which case, forget it buddy!

-Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

-We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

-There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.

-See spot. See spot run. See spot get round house kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.

-The agent of Chuck Norris asked Chuck if he wanted to be in Brokeback Mountain. Chuck Norris' agent has been missing for almost 2 years now. Never ask Chuck Norris to be in a gay cowboy movie.

-Not only does Chuck Norris know everything, he IS everything.
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"If it ain't broke, just wait awhile. Because it will be.

[Ashton Gray]

I'm afraid I did'nt get the "More cowbell" joke. Can someone explain it?
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Silentium est aurum

[JohnnyPsycho]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/More_cowbell

Wish I could find a video of this, but YouTube tends to delete SNL clips on their site.
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[Marx-Paragon]

at least i wasnt the only one who didnt get it, thank you for explianing, johnny
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marx's four step guide to being popular in the fandom

1 draw boobs
2 make comics
3 cuase drama
4 repeat

[Ashton Gray]

Ah, thank you, Johnny.
_________________
Silentium est aurum

[Alax *Snowdem*]

i liked the jokes well done

[Dogg_29]

-Chuck Norris is 1/8 Cherokee. This has nothing to do with his ancestry. The man ate a Fucking Jeep.
-Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
-Chuck Norris once had an erection while sleeping face down...He Struck Oil.
-Chuck Norris would have been a plague for anchient Egypt but the gods thought it was too extreme.
-Chuck Norris is the only man that can find a missing person however in the prossess many more were reported missing.
-Chuck Norris does not chew bubble gum, he chews heavy duty log chains.
-Chuck Norris was the first man on the moon. The gov't is still awaiting him to round house kick them all.
-Chuck Norris doesn't use a stunt double. The stunt doubles use Chuck Norris

[Marx-Paragon]

the ones about the cherokee, and the oil were pretty funny, never heard em before either
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marx's four step guide to being popular in the fandom

1 draw boobs
2 make comics
3 cuase drama
4 repeat

[skybourne87]

normally im not one for chuck norris jokes but this was still pretty good