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....(sad on the inside smiles on the out)...

 
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TheBlackCat
Rank: Senior Member


Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 324

PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 11:32 pm    Post subject: ....(sad on the inside smiles on the out)... Reply with quote

hay ppl not tring to be self obsorbed i know thats kind of my pusonalitymy bad i know i havent ben as around thats much im fealing with drawn and like a third wheal ;lately not just in bon bon but real life im gana get a life cheack and all be back soon i hope or not back to my old self at all wish me luck on tring to get back to my self i hope i can fix my self im like a broken toy shiny and new at first and the toast of the toybox but ther are some new toys and i have abroken wheal so hofuly i can be fixed loveal of u like family and more hope to not not be so self obsorbed and all later
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..Hmm well Love to me is a bond of two souls becoming one..But some of us put a Shield up to ward off other souls..Some of us Would rather be a Friend then more..Or is this all a Lie thats for me To Know and you To Figure out
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TheBlackCat
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Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 324

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sad realy even in this post its still about me...sad realy...i dont what simpithy im looking for inlightiment my own shangryla so to say..
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..Hmm well Love to me is a bond of two souls becoming one..But some of us put a Shield up to ward off other souls..Some of us Would rather be a Friend then more..Or is this all a Lie thats for me To Know and you To Figure out
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Miss Scorpia
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 31 Mar 2008
Posts: 1836

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am sorry, but I am having a hard time understanding what you are writting. Embarassed
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TheBlackCat
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Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 324

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

i sit here awake for 3 dayz relizing im not sleepy...i think its like i feel like one of theose people ready to die..am i sick ill?..hmmm i ponder to my self were dose this fealing come from do i want to die NO!...im just so curiuos about what dose this mean ? hmm maybe im in love?..no that cant be it!..thers no woman in my life...O.o a man maybe?....no no man that i feel for am i gay?..hmmm no i dont think so or maybe i am i just havent..discoverd it yes or have i? hmm i think i ? to much...or do i ? or do i not ? enough ? hmmmm i dont know but w/e this is i dont want it to end im in my own world and loving it,,the bleek walls and no bounderies white very were no trees or nothing i run buyt i dont move..maybe iv gone insane..lol maybe maybe id think so..or i truly belive this is all a cry for help but why what am i cring for ? hmmm?...Not Rp (in a real strugle sorry forkes friends loves hats and ect ect..i dare not post again sorry...i think iv taken enough of ur time with my stupid cryes and rants.
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..Hmm well Love to me is a bond of two souls becoming one..But some of us put a Shield up to ward off other souls..Some of us Would rather be a Friend then more..Or is this all a Lie thats for me To Know and you To Figure out
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TheBlackCat
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Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 324

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 2:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

its fine most ppl dont understand me Thats why i walk alon on the beach and always will..how do i know this i just do..
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..Hmm well Love to me is a bond of two souls becoming one..But some of us put a Shield up to ward off other souls..Some of us Would rather be a Friend then more..Or is this all a Lie thats for me To Know and you To Figure out
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TheBlackCat
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Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 324

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 3:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dear God i Know Why am so Sad Im Lonely..Im Watching A Romantic Comedy Alon Holding a doll...Yup im a sad SOB..>.> well no that i figuerd it out i must solve the problem..But im not the Out goibng guy i used to be..w/e ill give it the good go Ty for listing to Me Bitch !!!
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..Hmm well Love to me is a bond of two souls becoming one..But some of us put a Shield up to ward off other souls..Some of us Would rather be a Friend then more..Or is this all a Lie thats for me To Know and you To Figure out
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Drofgod969
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 08 Sep 2008
Posts: 3428

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 3:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

TheBlackCat wrote:
Ty for listing to Me Bitch !!!


I think you where going for something else right? Confused
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yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. that's why it is called the present.
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Some weep, some cry, some make couches fly. - Katmir
Let me stand behind you in times of peace, let me stand infront of you in times of war, let me stand beside you as a equall, as a friend.
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TheBlackCat
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Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 324

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 3:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

yea Listening Sorry my bad..>.<
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..Hmm well Love to me is a bond of two souls becoming one..But some of us put a Shield up to ward off other souls..Some of us Would rather be a Friend then more..Or is this all a Lie thats for me To Know and you To Figure out
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TheBlackCat
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Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 324

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 3:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

God what i wouldent give to have some one to cuddle with on a stormy Night Listening to the rain.candles flickering and jsut a bond like that i crave to have to those who h ave that some one weather a man or woman gay or straight i dosn't matter as long as u have some one..id kill to be that person who has ther own person nothing els...hmm maybe one day i will..maybe..
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..Hmm well Love to me is a bond of two souls becoming one..But some of us put a Shield up to ward off other souls..Some of us Would rather be a Friend then more..Or is this all a Lie thats for me To Know and you To Figure out
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Ashton Gray
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 15 Feb 2007
Posts: 4668

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 4:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Miss Scorpia wrote:
I am sorry, but I am having a hard time understanding what you are writting. Embarassed


In a nutshell, Miss Scorpia, and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, Cat, he's saying he's not at all happy at the moment and is having a very bad time of life at the moment.
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TheBlackCat
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Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 324

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 4:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very much so life is getting very sad i mean like stay in bed and cry YES I CRY IM A LOVER NOT A FIGHTER! altho i realy have no one to love at the moment >.<
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..Hmm well Love to me is a bond of two souls becoming one..But some of us put a Shield up to ward off other souls..Some of us Would rather be a Friend then more..Or is this all a Lie thats for me To Know and you To Figure out
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saphron
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Joined: 30 Jul 2008
Posts: 860

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 11:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sounds like me!!!!!! here, this is a poem i think describes so perfectly:


about me.
myself
This mask I wear,
he serves me well,
he hides my pain,
so they can't tell.

They see his smile,
never my tears,
he shows no sorrow,
he fights all my fears.

They believe he is me,
if only they knew,
that he is my mask,
my saviour too.

My scars he hides,
behind laughter and lies,
he say's he is fine,
but slowly he dies ...



sorry to say it describes me to a T. i've allways hidden myself and how i feel, helping others is what i enjoy true, and i really am a people person, but i allways feel as though i'm more of an outcast. struggling to be included in what i can, yet sepatated from those i love.

my greatest fear out of all this is that i'll be forgotten completely by those i care for and give anything to protect. am i crazy for thinking this? maybe, but i can feel myself being forgotten, and isolated. i try to get involved, and people barely recognise that i'm there and it hurts all the more. i'm afraid my fear is coming true.
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TheBlackCat
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Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 324

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 11:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zomg same
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..Hmm well Love to me is a bond of two souls becoming one..But some of us put a Shield up to ward off other souls..Some of us Would rather be a Friend then more..Or is this all a Lie thats for me To Know and you To Figure out
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Feingo Ferinton
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 09 Aug 2008
Posts: 664

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 12:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well BC, My deepest appologies to hear about your state. I'll be praying for you, and hope your feeling better soon. Very Happy
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TheBlackCat
Rank: Senior Member


Joined: 04 Aug 2008
Posts: 324

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 12:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

....Im glad i have friends like u guys ^^, not tring to get to mushy but in shot terms Thanks Smile
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..Hmm well Love to me is a bond of two souls becoming one..But some of us put a Shield up to ward off other souls..Some of us Would rather be a Friend then more..Or is this all a Lie thats for me To Know and you To Figure out
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saphron
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Joined: 30 Jul 2008
Posts: 860

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 12:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well.....thats what the forum is here for!
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Drofgod969
Royal Member of BonBon


Joined: 08 Sep 2008
Posts: 3428

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 1:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

just about anything... Cool ... Twisted Evil Wink
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yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. that's why it is called the present.
quoted by master Oogway off kong fu panda
Some weep, some cry, some make couches fly. - Katmir
Let me stand behind you in times of peace, let me stand infront of you in times of war, let me stand beside you as a equall, as a friend.
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saphron
Rank: Veteran


Joined: 30 Jul 2008
Posts: 860

PostPosted: Tue Nov 04, 2008 1:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

down boy
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