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Katmir
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 Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 9:31 pm Post subject: |
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These are available for purchase, but I was actually more influenced by short stories published in an old science magazine called "Omni". The works of Sir William Shakespeare, the entirety of Grimm's Fairy Tales, and anything Stan Motherfuckin' Lee put his superhuman hands on come second to them.
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"In Excelsis Neo."
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Wolf Stride
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| Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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| Katmir wrote: | | These are available for purchase, but I was actually more influenced by short stories published in an old science magazine called "Omni". The works of Sir William Shakespeare, the entirety of Grimm's Fairy Tales, and anything Stan Motherfuckin' Lee put his superhuman hands on come second to them. |
(( Shweeeet. Send me a more proper list on FA if you get ze chance, mate. ))
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Katmir
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Wolf Stride
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Katmir
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Wolf Stride
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| Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 9:40 pm Post subject: |
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| Katmir wrote: | | Oui, oui mon ami (?)... Let's rock. |
(( Perfect!! You're mission is to provide missions to Furry, based on Grammar, Syntaxis, details and whatnot. For now, we are starting out low and I am letting a lot of basic errors fly by. All I am trying to get him to correct are his standard RP'ing posts, see if he makes any proper headway. I shall give you a more detailed explanation in FA when the Matrix decided to stop being Agent Smith. ))
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Katmir
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| Posted: Fri Oct 15, 2010 9:45 pm Post subject: |
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Okay. Although I am a firm believer in phonics studies being of the utmost importance. For now, I must get to bed. My chakras are overheating.
Love and Peace
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"In Excelsis Neo."
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Wolf Stride
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furrynerd
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Wolf Stride
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| Posted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 6:41 am Post subject: |
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| furrynerd wrote: | young "Well I thought you were talking about the guitar"?
Old "Then he said it wasnt that"
young : Well what is it" ?
They go into the house. eventual they find a note that said. "look inside the guitar"
old "Why is there a note that says this"?
Young"Well lets just look in it"
They had to find things to get to this. Threw a hallway to his room thats where it was.the room was like he remembered white walls and a green bed with white sheets. It looked like he always remebered.
Old "I remeber this so well"
Young"Its kinda ackward talking to you old me"
Old"Hey its new to see everything again"
they both go to guide and passes the picture
"Here you go"
(i basically like stephen king,comedy books and comics. katmir) |
(( Vague....but barely passable. I shall let this one slide. ))
Range silently took hold of the picture in his hands, grabbing it whole before it dissapared within.
"Passable. Your kindness is held within your family."
Once again, the man began walking off in another direction before dissapearing into nothingness, alike the first one.
(( Your mission!
Create a new background
Minimum of 8 sentences
That is all. ))
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furrynerd
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Wolf Stride
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| Posted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 9:28 am Post subject: |
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| furrynerd wrote: | old andrew "Bye young me"
young andrew "See you old me".
He walks in a path and sees another memory. When he was with his friends at school. He sees all his friends a Bear named zack,a cat named Jane and his other friend the crow Johnny. It was at his highschhol in ky. Its a big white building. he remebered everything about his school he learned music. He was creative and he learned what he needed.
"Well i should just see what the guide wants me to do now"
"guide what do i need to do now. |
(( Not bad. Now, you shall wait for Katmir, who shall be yer new guide, RP Style. ))
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furrynerd
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Wolf Stride
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Katmir
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| Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 4:21 pm Post subject: |
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Howdy, FurryNerd! What I'd like you to do for now is just type one paragraph of at least four sentences that describes the story you and Stride have been working on here. Tell me what the purpose of it is, what the sample story is about, and what you hope to accomplish with it.
THEN, we need you to type your next "Twilight of an Age" post in one paragraph of at least four sentences that tells us why your hero fursona wants to be so smart instead of just a swordsman.
So you know, my next post on "TOA" will also be one paragraph, just to show you that a lot can happen in a few sentences.
okayreadysetGO!
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furrynerd
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| Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 5:21 pm Post subject: |
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ok i nthis me and stride. were two people that i was in my subconious and he was my guide. this was jsut an rp to test me. i have accomplished my writing. ok thats it. but katmir you have to post to tyhat one earlier post about that because your my new guide.
ok and toa my post wil lbe edited yhough so it will go like.
He has learned all he needs in a week. By learning from the female cat named Aeyissi. She taught him his music,theology and attacks. he did best at theology. It helped him to eventually learn to control all his balance. He was upside done on one hand. While people came to learn from him. Because he was the new best in wesera.He then rested in a meditated state.
"Well this looks like a nice day" "To anyone here anyone want to learn about anythign"
He sees a person that looks like someone he needs to teach.
(ok i dont rellay know i just want someone to post to what i write.)
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furrynerd
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Katmir
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| Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2010 6:49 pm Post subject: |
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Out of the school building came an older looking green fox wearing a grey blazer and matching pants. The t-shirt he wore underneath wasn't up to Kentucky school code for teachers, but his favorite music came from Nine Inch Nails, and the logo was easily seen by everyone. He greeted Zack, Jane and Johnny before walking up to Andrew.
"Hello, Andrew." he said, his fluffy tail swaying a bit as two cheerleaders strolled by. "I'm your new Guide, Katmir. It's nice to meet you. Before we continue with your three friends here, we'll need to work on something special first... Your Twilight of an Age post to be exact."
Katmir taps a Rob Zombie pin on his jacket and a large holographic screen projects from it in front of them. It displays his latest post on "TOA".
"Now, although I get the idea of what you're trying to tell us here, there are grammatical errors that can be and must be corrected..."
He has learned all he needs in a week. By learning from the female cat named Aeyissi. She taught him his music,theology and attacks. he did best at theology. It helped him to eventually learn to control all his balance. He was upside done on one hand. While people came to learn from him. Because he was the new best in wesera.He then rested in a meditated state.
"Well this looks like a nice day" "To anyone here anyone want to learn about anythign"
He sees a person that looks like someone he needs to teach.
Katmir smiles and stands next to Andrew. "The computer will record everything I'm about to tell you. Your assignment is to consider each point , then edit your post one step at a time. Keep it simple, but think to yourself that you'd want this on your friend's bookshelves."
1) Refer to your hero by name at least once.
2) The second sentence is not only incomplete, it repeats something from the first. Rewrite these two sentences into one.
3) You mentioned 'music' as something the hero learned, but readers have no idea what aspect of music it was. Was it singing? Was it learning how to write sheet music? Did he end up playing the kazoo like a virtuoso? Or has the hero learned how to be a medieval minstrels' band manager, knowing how to promote them in foreign countries and handle other music business? We don't know what he learned about music because you did not write it. Be specific.
4) Theology is a general term. Please be specific as to what religion would have you makin' like Luke Skywalker in the Dagobah swamp. Also, it's called a 'handstand'. And does this have something to do with "learning attacks"?
6) Lastly, you'll need a second paragraph to explain the other feat that your hero accomplished. It seems like not only the hero became a genius in a week, but now other people are going to him for stuff. The readers have a great imagination, but you need to tell them what to think. Please rewrite that part as another short simple paragraph.
"... And that's the kicker about telling stories. You have to go back and make sure the readers know exactly what you want them to know. That means editing. While you're at it, I'm going to talk to your three friends over there about Rock and Roll. See you in a bit."
*
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furrynerd
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Katmir
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furrynerd
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furrynerd
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| Posted: Thu Oct 21, 2010 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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ok two thigns sense your my actual new guide lets keep the story going like it is.
also how could I edit this
He has learned all he needs in a week. he meditated most of the time so that how he learned. By learning from the female cat named Aeyissi. She taught him his music,theology and attacks. the music he learned was how to write music and to play better on his guitar.
He did best at theology. It helped him to eventually learn to control all his balance.because he learned a buddhist and christian idea. but the buddhist helped him to learn quickly because if he didnt meditate like he learned it would have taken him longer. He was was doing a handstand which also helped him think. people walked to him because people lerned he was the new best in wesera.He then rested in a meditated state. then he spoke after he meditated. he had an idea. That he wrote down in a book he had. It was called andrews thoughts all his thoughts were actual theologic and not stupid. But he was still like himself just smarter.
He leaves from this town as he helped to go to ther towns. that he sees peopel he knows. he sits beside one building and sees someone familiear(ok one thing i jsut want someone in this to walk up to him and ask him a question).
The hero andrew the XIV seemed people slowly walked to him. He saw that one person he sensed he needed to teach. Now he learned that in his week he was just learning. He made to were he could help anyone he needed to help. He helped with hi new teachings to anyone that walked and asked him questions.
"Well how you been"? "Havent seen you in abit" "Ask me anything"
he sees the familiar face ask him questions he could tell. And he saw he could teach this person. He wonders where exactly he is. But he will learn eventually.
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Andrew Sloth:
http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=11636&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=
Ling/Lee:
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