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furrynerd Rank: Super Veteran

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Dorian Longstreet Rank: Super Veteran

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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 7:51 pm Post subject: |
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I have a guide... go there. _________________ "Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength."- From your sincere gentleman of PBB |
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furrynerd Rank: Super Veteran

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Dorian Longstreet Rank: Super Veteran

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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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Well then let's see,
You walk into a garden it bursts with countless colors of flowers and variations. It excites your senses with wonderful smells. What do you do _________________ "Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength."- From your sincere gentleman of PBB |
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furrynerd Rank: Super Veteran

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Dorian Longstreet Rank: Super Veteran

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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 8:15 pm Post subject: |
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WRONG
You describe how the scents and the colors impact you. Describe it, point out the things that aren't mentioned, the vines the way they crawl up the gazebos DESCRIBE EVERYTHING YOU CAN. _________________ "Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength."- From your sincere gentleman of PBB |
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furrynerd Rank: Super Veteran

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Dorian Longstreet Rank: Super Veteran

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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 8:27 pm Post subject: |
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Well... it's a start, what you have a problem with is detail mostly. Taking the time to really take in all the stuff you see, and put it down. Wrighting is all about creativity, and so you need to use your creative prowess to good use. _________________ "Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength."- From your sincere gentleman of PBB |
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furrynerd Rank: Super Veteran

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Dorian Longstreet Rank: Super Veteran

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Posted: Sat Oct 02, 2010 8:36 pm Post subject: |
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They think your hopeless, they won't bother. _________________ "Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength."- From your sincere gentleman of PBB |
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Ekrance Rank: Super Veteran

Joined: 26 Jul 2010 Posts: 1844
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 2:54 am Post subject: |
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But i don't think that, i'll help you, look, i'll help you with the conversations of your characters. p. ex:
"Hey, what's up?" He said as he looked to the cat. That's an example, when you are going to talk, use "", and puntuation signs, "?" "!" "," "." and detail your messages, "He said looking at the cat" That's what your character is doing while talking, know what i mean? |
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45dragoons Rank: Super Veteran

Joined: 12 Mar 2010 Posts: 4326
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Ekrance Rank: Super Veteran

Joined: 26 Jul 2010 Posts: 1844
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 9:09 am Post subject: |
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We should make a private RP just for us and like that we could help you train Furrynerd =3 |
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furrynerd Rank: Super Veteran

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Ekrance Rank: Super Veteran

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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 10:14 am Post subject: |
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I see, then we should start |
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Hoshiginiro Rank: Super Veteran

Joined: 03 Feb 2010 Posts: 6190
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 10:21 am Post subject: |
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im not helping so dont ask i have enough teaching to do with my own daughter with out having to teach some one how to role play _________________ Star Silver
Medel Gargen
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furrynerd Rank: Super Veteran

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furrynerd Rank: Super Veteran

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Silvador Royal Member of BonBon

Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 12351
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 3:38 pm Post subject: |
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OK, furry, I'm going to give you some advise. There is one vital key to any kind of story writing, and that is detail. It's really not that hard to learn, you just need to stop looking at it as a major thing, it's not. Detail is like cents. Keeping saving the cent coins, don't think about the dollars, just put those 5's and 10's and 20's aside, and before you know it, you've got dollars piling up.
When writing details, try to focus on one thing at a time. Let's start with something simple, and don't fret too much over grammar, that can be worked on at a later date. I want you to describe a rose for me as best you can. Don't think of it as a whole rose, try and break it into the parts that make it a rose. How does it smell? What do the petals look like? And so forth. _________________
 
Fursonas: http://tinyurl.com/yzcsyug |
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Dorian Longstreet Rank: Super Veteran

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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 3:47 pm Post subject: |
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I've tried this already Silv.... your metaphor is good, though I don't think it will get through to him. _________________ "Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength."- From your sincere gentleman of PBB |
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Silvador Royal Member of BonBon

Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 12351
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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Dorian Longstreet wrote: | I've tried this already Silv.... your metaphor is good, though I don't think it will get through to him. | Negativity like that does not help.
-shoos Dorian away- _________________
 
Fursonas: http://tinyurl.com/yzcsyug |
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Hoshiginiro Rank: Super Veteran

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Silvador Royal Member of BonBon

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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 4:06 pm Post subject: |
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Hoshiginiro wrote: | i dont even know how to describe a rose's smell | Well, does it smell sweet? sour? Strong? Weak? _________________
 
Fursonas: http://tinyurl.com/yzcsyug |
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furrynerd Rank: Super Veteran

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Silvador Royal Member of BonBon

Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 12351
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:31 pm Post subject: |
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And that is a good start. See? It's not that hard.
OK, we'll move onto something else.
You're in a room, furry, and there are two people there. I want you to describe them. What are they doing? What are they wearing? Are they sitting? Standing?
Go for it. _________________
 
Fursonas: http://tinyurl.com/yzcsyug |
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Hoshiginiro Rank: Super Veteran

Joined: 03 Feb 2010 Posts: 6190
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:34 pm Post subject: |
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my turn i walked up to this beautiful flower the sent was subtle but sweet it had soft silky red petals i went to pick this flower and i pricked my finger on a sharp thorn on the green stem it made me bleed the color of my blood is the same at the color of the flower i shall call this flower a rose _________________ Star Silver
Medel Gargen
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furrynerd Rank: Super Veteran

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Silvador Royal Member of BonBon

Joined: 20 Oct 2009 Posts: 12351
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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:41 pm Post subject: |
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Vague. You need to remember that you are trying to paint a picture with your words. Think of what else they are wearing. Are they talking softly? loudly? Where in the room are they? Is there a table or chair near them, perhaps? Are they maybe enjoying a drink? _________________
 
Fursonas: http://tinyurl.com/yzcsyug |
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furrynerd Rank: Super Veteran

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Silvador Royal Member of BonBon

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Posted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 5:46 pm Post subject: |
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Don't worry about editing it, just try again. _________________
 
Fursonas: http://tinyurl.com/yzcsyug |
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