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Advice, please

 
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Danie
Rank: Junior Member


Joined: 02 Feb 2005
Posts: 115

PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2005 6:41 pm    Post subject: Advice, please Reply with quote

Alley, is it totally inappropriate for me to ask a girl out that works for me? She is a super nice girl and we get along great, not to mention some obvious physical attraction.

I hope you could give me your two cents, I would sure appreciate it.

Thank You

Danie
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AlleyBaggett
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Joined: 15 Dec 2003
Posts: 2358

PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would ask her out. You never know what could come of it. Some guys say don't but I say do. I believe some of the BEST sexual relationships happen because you become such good friends first. You NEED that solid good friendship as a foundation for any long lasting relationship.


Best of luck Danie!

Let me know what happens... Very Happy
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Danie
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Joined: 02 Feb 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 6:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I do know one thing, it would change our working relationship. As far as I'm concerned, it wouldn't affect me all that much. As far as she is concerned, I am afraid it might make her feel awkward. You know, office gossip and back-biting. I am really having a hard time deciding to possibly mess-up a good thing for a chance at something great.

Usually, I would be with you with the "go for it" mentality but in this instance there is something different involved, her professional career.I'm not saying it would ruin her, but she doesn't need any obstacles from me.

I'm probably over-thinking this, but I can't help it. I don't want to screw this up.

I think I will proceed by trying to find out her opinion without being too direct.

Thanks for your reply Alley, and if you have anymore advice(or anyone does), I'll listen.

Danie
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Down South
Rank: Senior Member


Joined: 07 Feb 2005
Posts: 206

PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 7:35 pm    Post subject: --- Reply with quote

I'm anyone Cool

Does she report to you directly? Does she work in your dept.? If yes to these two questions then you may have problems in the future.

Then again I don't know how strict your work place is when it comes to dating employees. Where I'm at you'd be risking your job. I currently have 40 people that report to me...if I were to date one of them I'd lose my standing with everyone else in the dept. That stuff doesn't stay secret forever. Plus, HR would probably invite me to talk with them.

However, I may date someone who does not work in my dept. or report directly to me. That being said, they still aren't too high on this thought either.

You're right...it would change y'alls working relationship.

Pros and Cons Dan...in the end it's all on you making that decision to proceed or not...good luck man...

p.s. Alley is absolutely right about being good friends with someone making for a better sexual relationship.

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AlleyBaggett
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Joined: 15 Dec 2003
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 11:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you should definitely talk to her about it....and see how she feels Danie. Her feelings are extremely important too and I think by you being concerned for them will be an even stronger attraction towards you. You should make the decision together.

GOOD LUCK BABY! Wink
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santiago
Rank: Junior Member


Joined: 24 Feb 2005
Posts: 106

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Danie, Down South and Alley are both right.

However, if you own the business she works for, or if you work in a
supervisory position, this could expose you to some severe legal liability.

If so, a simple phone call to your attorney could help you out a lot.

If this dosen't apply, just BE SURE that your attraction is mutual,
before you make any moves. If your attraction isn't mutual, than you
asking her out could amount to sexual harassment.

Sorry for the legal stuff, I just don't want to see anyone get burned.

It sucks that you have to go through all the B.S. these days.

Good Luck Sailor!!!
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dickmoyer
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Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 145

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 11:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Danie,
If you don't do it, you may never know what you might have missed and forever left behind. If you truly like this lady then do GO FOR IT. Simply be respectful of her feelings and treat her with dignity, that always works. I met the love of my life on a blind date I could have easily said no to. Oh to think what i could missed out on is inthinkable
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Danie
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Joined: 02 Feb 2005
Posts: 115

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 4:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Down South and Santiago, she works for me as in I own the bussiness. She is one of 53 employees. She does not report to me directly, she is in the sales dept. And that particular dept. does not receive that much attention from me, as in direct oversite. I have a very good sales manager.

Santiago, I took your advise and gave my lawyer a buzz, he said basically that I could be exposing myself and my company to "problems". But what else would you expect him to say?

All this contemplating goes out the door when I see her or we have a conversation. I am WAY SURE that she has the same attraction to me.

Tomorrow I am going to take Alley's advice and just ask up-front what she thinks.

So if you guys got any last minute advice post it tonight, otherwise wish me luck!

Danie
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Down South
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 6:29 pm    Post subject: --- Reply with quote

Good luck! Cool
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Supermark
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Joined: 02 Feb 2005
Posts: 155

PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 7:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wish you luck, Danie. I hope it works out for you dude. Let us know how it goes!

Mark
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Danie
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Joined: 02 Feb 2005
Posts: 115

PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2005 5:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

O.K. guys, I asked her out.

She said..."What took you so long?, I've been waiting for this day for what seems forever".

I told her what I've been thinking and her response was, "Anything worth having never comes easy, and if or when we run into problems we will figure it out together"

This girl is awesome, I don't think I'll be sleeping much tonight, I'm super happy.

Thanks for your help guys, and Alley I'm sorry, but your now my second favorite girl. I still love you. Very Happy I hope your shoots are going well,and thanks for the advice.

Danie big grin big grin big grin big grin bouncy big grin
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DaveUK
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Joined: 07 Feb 2005
Posts: 53

PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 12:43 am    Post subject: WAHAY!!!! Reply with quote

Danie,

Well done mate, glad everything worked out so well for you.

Good luck in the future Laughing


Dave
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Supermark
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Joined: 02 Feb 2005
Posts: 155

PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 6:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bravo! Well done! Best of luck! Wink
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orange
Rank: Senior Member


Joined: 02 Feb 2005
Posts: 291

PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 7:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Super Danie! Very Happy I'm happy for you! Good luck! Wink
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AlleyBaggett
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Joined: 15 Dec 2003
Posts: 2358

PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 10:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Danie you are SO cute and so deserving of such a great girl.

I'm glad you took my advice. Very Happy Sometimes it's best to get advice from a female when you are trying to move in on a female.

Danie, you have to give us an update.

Oh and I don't mind being 2nd. Very Happy
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Danie
Rank: Junior Member


Joined: 02 Feb 2005
Posts: 115

PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 4:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

AlleyBaggett wrote:

...Danie, you have to give us an update...


Things are going super great. She is even more wonderful then I ever imagined. And there hasn't been any issues at work either, everybody thinks it's about time I found a girl and they are happy for both of us.

Thanks again Alley for the little push, you should have an advice column. You have not steered me wrong yet.

Thanks to the rest of you guys also for the support.

Danie Very Happy
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dally
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Joined: 08 Feb 2005
Posts: 141

PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 6:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congrats Danie, hope it works out. Im a self employed Arborist- does anyone no any female tree climbers looking for a job?lol
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santiago
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Joined: 24 Feb 2005
Posts: 106

PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 7:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good job Danie!

I hope everything continues to go well.

Just remember, child support is expensive Wink

Have fun!!!
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