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[Texas_Wildlife]

My life is starting to unravel , and I can't stop it.

About a month ago my 15year old sister tried to commit suicide. She had swallowed several bottles of prescription drug and aspirins. She had taken then the night before, the next day my mother found her in bed covered in vomit. I rush over, I found my mom in the hallway with my sister limp body; mom had tried to get her into the shower to try and wake her up. I’m not a doctor but I’ve had many friends overdose and I could tell she had taken something; she couldn’t speak or make eye contact and the vomit smelled like chemicals. I rushed to her room and found the empty bottles. I screamed to my mom to call 911, she was in shock and couldn’t move so I did everything. Called for an ambulance, gathered the empty bottles so the doctors would know what she took , and searched for a suicide note. The ambulance came quickly and they said it was me who saved her. She had taken a rare prescription med that would have killed her if doctors had not known to treat of it. She alive today, she has some kidney problems now ; but she will be fine soon with therapy and the right treatments

Now it’s happening again. But this time, I can’t do a fucking thing.

This afternoon my father wrote me and my family a suicide note. In it he says he loves our family and he wanted us to know that it wasn’t anything the rest of my family did and no one is to blame. He also said not to call the police or family members to try and stop him. I got in my car and checked every place I could think to look for him, and called every number I could find ; I found nothing and no one knows where he is. My mother has gone to check our lake house to see if he went there but she has ordered me to watch after my sister. So here I am in front of my computer and completely powerless and useless. All I can do to help is sit on my ass and hope someone calls. I’m going insane trying to resist the urge to get in my car and keep looking, I broke into his computer and started searching for answers. He’s visited several bipolar mania sites , but I was unaware that he had such a condition; again I know the symptoms but I this time I fucked up and disregarded them until it was too late.

So now I have saved a life, but possibly lost the other one.

I understand why they are doing these things but it doesn’t brink me any comfort or make it any easier. My body feels num. I try not to think about the subject in negative terms, but it’s eating away at me. I don’t know why I’m sharing this with everyone here, it’s not my intention to be this depressing; I just need to share my pain so I don’t keep it locked inside. People around me are trying to kill themselves and I can help but think “is it my fault”

If Vanessa or Ronald wishes me to remove this thread, I will do so without hesitation. All you need to do is ask.

I'm studying physiology and my mind can rationalize just about anything ; but its getting to personal an my emotions are effecting my thinking.

Please don't think this is a cry for help , I just want someone to listen and actually respond . I lost my ability to rationalize these events and I could really use some guidance. I'm probably gonna need to take therapy sessions when this is all over, but its always helpful to seek support from several people.

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............December 8th 2009.................................
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They found my dad at 1 a.m ..................hes dead

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............December 9th 2009............................
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We had to make the funeral arrangements to day.

Headstone, burial site , casket, floral arrangements , ect.

I'm going to be one of the pallbearers.

It was a pretty rough experience . Unfortunately, it that wasn't the worst of it.
A fight broke out between both sides of my family, each side wanted to control the decision making; my fathers relatives (grandparents are dead) wanted to bury him in Oklahoma,
but my family wanted him to stay close so we could visit the grave more often.
My mom was overwhelmed by several hateful calls and text messages. she barely got through the day.

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............December 10th 2009............................
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Visitation ( see my dads body before the funeral)
First time I've seen my dad since Monday.

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............December 11th 2009............................
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The funeral is set for Friday December 11th 2009. At Noon
_________________
Dallas"Wildcat"Swagger--->Fursona

[Aaron_Thom]

I'm sorry to hear this about your father and sister. I hope and pray to God you're father will be found. I'll keep you and your family in my preyers tonight. I wish I could help you.
_________________
I am what I am and proud to be who I am.
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[dragonfly]

im the same tex i do wish so very much i could help u.

i sort of went though the same thing 2 years ago but in a diffent way but i would rather not speak about it as i dont want to upset u as much as u are now.
_________________
let my chains be broken so i can fly


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ref pic of link the king cheetah http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7618854/

[Maxwell The Tiger]

If there's nothing you can do, don't do anything. I can't help you and I hope nothing bad happens.

Sorry
_________________

[Leaf]

... I'm so sorry to hear this, Tex.
We'll all be here to help you through this, no matter what.
_________________
My Fursona
FA Page

[Texas_Wildlife]

[grllover23]

*Dabbs eyes with tissue* Zat iz zo zad. *Sniffles* I actually 'ave zeveral friendz in zimilar pozitionz az yourzelf and actually can zympathize wiz you. I will be glad to poztpone ze wedding until your life can zettle down mon amour

-Yours Truly, Loretta xoxo
_________________
Loretta- The Painter
Quanesha- The Photographer

[Texas_Wildlife]

[Symphony]

This is such a tragic thing to hear about. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now.

I really hope it all ends well for you and your family.
_________________
Constance Mayflower's bio

Constance Mayflower's diary

The Mayflower Diaries

[cheesecaked]

Sorry... hope everythings be ok again.
_________________
My Fursona http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=100410#100410

How dare they use casment window designs,
it's so last century ಠ_ರೃ
◕ ◡ ◕
"I'm gonna miss all the things we'll never do.
I just can't believe you left me here alone,
How in this world can I make it on my own?"

[Shadow_Twisted]

It is never easy to accept the actions of our parents if we view them as weak or immature, yet it happens. My wife has lost both of her biological parents to drunk driving, her father when she was around 10 and just recently, her mother.

[Caroline]

((Well, Texas, my compassion tends to come off very... sandpapery... but... here goes.

I'm going to tell you something I had to tell Bean once...you can't save everyone. You can only do what you can do, and you have to accept that. You can't save everyone. Shoot, even the Son of the Almighty couldn't save everyone. So... do what you can, for those who you can do it for.

I hope that helps some.))

[Evan_Himmel]

Im sorry to hear about what happened to your father and sisster. Bu,t from what happened with them and the subject you are takeing. I advise on keeping check of your own mental health when posible. Statisticly therapists have the highest suicide rate of all profetions. Also seens your father and sister attemped it, You may want to have your self checked as well for eny thing hereditary that may lead to it as well.

[Texas_Wildlife]

They found my Dad . Hes dead
_________________
Dallas"Wildcat"Swagger--->Fursona

[Wallstreet]

Tex, man, Im beyond words. I cant express how sorry I am for you and your families loss.

Its been said already, but were always here to help you if you need to talk.
_________________
Ewan's Golden Glass
Fine Alcohol and Good Times

Who the hell is Ewan Bushmill?
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[Xebulon]

I am truely sorry for your loss, Tex. If you need to talk to someone who's been where you are now, or if you need a sympathetic (non sexual) man-hug, you can always find me here. One thing I will say: It's not going to be easy and it will take time, but things will get better.
_________________
I like old jokes. With them I know when to laugh.

[The Adept]

That sucks man i wold be devestated if i lost my dad. but hey if he were with you right now hed be telling you not to cry and you shouldnt your family gonna look to you his son as the strong one now and you need to be strong for your family so you can be there support
_________________
A fact of life: After monday and tuesday even the calender says WTF...
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[TheBashfulFeline]

Holy... My god man... Its scary and just depressing to hear these things, but as Leaf and Aaron said, we're here for you. *hugs so tightly* Be strong lad. There is always hope in this world, don'cha know.

-Elizabeth.
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I'm not dead, just.... Hibernating. ON the MOON. :3 Luna's bum.

[Texas_Wildlife]

I'm not sure, what I'm suppose to do here now.

Do I need to leave PPB?

Or can I just keep posting? (I want to stay, but I'm not sure its the right decision anymore)
_________________
Dallas"Wildcat"Swagger--->Fursona

[Leaf]

I'm not good at giving out advice, but here goes:

I would suggest taking a break from this place for today. That is all I can say at this moment.
_________________
My Fursona
FA Page

[Shadow_Twisted]

My best advice is to take a week off to take care of what needs to be done, trust me, there's a lot you'll need to do. If, at any point, though you feel you need to vent some of it, feel free to come back and post it all out. It won't be easy, but in time you will learn to cope.

[Texas_Wildlife]

[Texas_Wildlife]

(Im making these jokes and smile faces to keep myself from crying while write these posts)
_________________
Dallas"Wildcat"Swagger--->Fursona

[Maxwell The Tiger]

Just look after yourself man, real sorry about how it turned out
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[Shadow_Twisted]

No one would ever think less of you for doing whatever you feel you must do. Life is unplanned and sometimes without mercy, we cannot expect you to be prepared for something that cannot be prepared for. Nor would it be wise for any of us to think we should come before your family. Personal crises are a matter we are ill-equipped to rectify, so focus now on the tasks at hand, and we will be here when you are ready to return.

[Tursi]

Erf... I can't do much more than offer my condolenceses. Just focus on day to day, and take care of your mom and sister there. :/
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http://harmlesslion.com

[Texas_Wildlife]

we finally have a set funeral date, December 11th 2009
_________________
Dallas"Wildcat"Swagger--->Fursona

[Drofgod969]

I am at a lose for words... All i can offer are my condolenceses.
_________________
yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. that's why it is called the present.
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Some weep, some cry, some make couches fly. - Katmir
Let me stand behind you in times of peace, let me stand infront of you in times of war, let me stand beside you as a equall, as a friend.

[Kasumi]

I'm very sorry to hear this. You have my deepest sympathy and I hope that things get better for you.

[Shadow_Twisted]

I just hope the funeral passes quickly for you. It was hardest on us knowing that one uncle was in Costa Rica with no way to contact him, meaning we had to wait two weeks before the funeral could be held. And after we had thought we'd recover, we had to break the news yet again, and it was difficult. The funeral will be hardest, as it cements the fact into reality. Then, slowly, it will get better.