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[Chaosengine]

It was suggested to me that I utilize my creativity during my recovery to help keep grounded, so I whipped this up a few days ago. It doesn't contain anything that contradicts Vanessa's work, so it should be safe. It is a bit depressing though...

Is It Time?

An abstract poem by Chaosengine

A late night in Ernest's shack...


Another empty bottle joins the others on the wooden floor.
One flood to hold back another.
It's not the time to break down...

Picturing in his head, the festivities in heaven.
The angels have no need for rats.
It's not the time to break down...

Like a wandering mutt who cries out to the moon.
No one calls back.
Is this the time to break down?

He'd give anything to be anyone but himself right now.
The violinist, the cowboy, the handsome gentleman.
Dreams and fancies dashed to bits by the onset of truth.
Why isn't the liquor working anymore?

Now is NOT the time to break down,
Keep it together now!
Hold on for just one more day...

I never thought I needed help before,
I always thought I could make it on my own.
Lord, give me a little push...
Just one push...

Or is it time to breakdown?

I can't let them know, can't let them see how much it's killing me.
You have to be a man at all times.
You can't relax.
I'm so very tired...

Maybe it's time that I breakdown...

You cannot save me.
I wish I knew who could.
I wish I was anyone but me right now.

It's time to break down...
Ernest, it's just the right time to break down.
_________________
"One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster.
The bars are temples, but the pearls ain't free...
You'll find a god in every golden cloister,
And if you're lucky then the god's a she..."

[Mystic]

I don't know if you meant for people to reply to this or not, but I'm going to.

Though you claim it abstract, the poem's story speaks clear to me. If its time to break down, then break down. That doesn't mean to "end" things, heavens no. Break down, cry, get it out of your system. If your going through hell, why mask it like your in heaven? That can cause enough stress as it is. Just like how they say "Admitting it is the first step to recovery." that means acting it too sweetie.

*Puts his head to her shoulder and pats him gently* Its okay to cry.
_________________
Oh, I'd tell myself
What good do you do
Convince myself