SexyFighters.com

[green_fox]

After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a gripe sheet which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some maintenance complaints submitted by pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, the airline these came from is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Engineers: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Engineers: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
Engineers: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
Engineers: Live bugs on back-order.

Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
Engineers: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Engineers: Evidence removed.

Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Engineers: DME volume set to more believable level.

Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Engineers: That's what friction locks are for.

Pilot: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
Engineers: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield.
Engineers: Suspect you're right.

Pilot: Number 3 engine missing.
Engineers: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
Engineers: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Pilot: Target radar hums.
Engineers: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Pilot: Mouse in cockpit.
Engineers: Cat installed.

Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Engineers: Took hammer away from midget


(PS. Someone told me that the airline mentioned above is Quantas I had this text on my laptop for a while, but I found this version on the Internet with two new additions. My personal favourite is "Radar hums..")
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[Taliesin]

Ahaha awesomeness... the ones of the radar humming and the dead bugs are the best.

Best cases of ilarity at work comes from call-centers, specially from technical support.

An evergreen?

"The pc asks me to press any key, but I can't just find the "any" key on my keyboard."
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[green_fox]

Working in a call center for tech support is a neverending source for customers and their strange "knowlegde" of their devices. Ever heared of the pc where the built-in cupholder broke?

And some company (I think it was compaq) replaced "any key" with "return key" so even the dumbest user would understand it
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[Taliesin]

[green_fox]

I work in retail, so I have to talk to the customer face to face (and sometimes it is really hard to suppress the urge to either choke the one in front of you or just burst out into laughter). In a call center you can hang up (in the worst case).

Since I started working in my store I have met customers that made me wonder how they tie their shows every morning ...
I mean, most of the companies that sell consumer electronics have manuals with A LOT of pictures in it. It can't be that difficult to read them

Two highlights:

A man brought his PC back (he bought it the day before) and claimed it was faulty and didn't work, he couldn't switch it on. He also said that he read the manual page by page. Guess what, the main power switch on the power supply at the rear was still in "OFF" position (... yeah right, he read the manual with the picture showing this switch ...), after switching it on and pressing the power button at the front it started working fine ...

Some HP printers have the ability to print with 6 colours. To do this you have to replace the black ink cartridge with the photo colour cartridge. A woman brought us her printer and told us that the cartridge we sold her was wrong, it was now stuck. I have no idea HOW she did it but: Instead of replacing the black ink cartrigde she replaced the normal colour cartrige with the photo cartridge. The cartrigdes have slightly different shapes and different colours, normally it is IMPOSSIBLE to replace the wrong one. She must have used a lot of force to push this thing into the poor printer (I send it to our repair service, I couldn't get the cartridge out. They phoned my back a few days later and asked me how on earth this had happended ... )
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[Taliesin]

Ahah, some people are just AMAZING. These people SO remind me of my parents when they attempt to get in front of a PC. It can even get dangerous for them and for the people around them!

Ah by the way... about the "integrated cupholder" you were talking about previously...

http://it.youtube.com/watch?v=_qBkzCVJMlc
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[JohnnyPsycho]

I used to work at a phone center where we did survey calls, political and educational stuff mostly, sort of like the Gallup Polls except without the benefit of Gallup's name recognition on our side. As frustrating as the job was, since we had to call up and convince total strangers to give their opinions about anything from local school board elections to the U.S. presidential primary elections, it still tended to be fairly easy work. Of course, we were usually like magnets to weirdos.

I'll have to ask my old boss if he still has some copies of the old newsletters we had, where every month the funniest responses from people we called were put up. Some of them were priceless, but hell if I can even remember any of them at the moment...
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[green_fox]

[Taliesin]

I had a pack of stories from an italian guy who works in a call center... most of them are hilarious but... in italian. I'd try and translate them as soon as I have some free time (that I actually lack these days T. .T)
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