SexyFighters.com

Zombie · Rank: Junior Member Joined: 13 Feb 2005 Posts: 125

HEY EVERYONE!!! Long time no talk... Thought I'd come by and say hello and give a lil update... I definitely haven't forgotten about you all or Alley... Things just haven't been going so good... Well health wise and all things are fine, but financial, job/work, bills, stuff like that not so good... Still not working unfortunately, been looking and looking and was doing side jobs like landscaping most of last year, but once fall and winter came it dried up and haven't had any work since before xmas time... I have had two job interviews since then as well and didn't get picked for either... So frustrating...

Kids are doing good... Not sure if I mentioned how my oldest daughter (2 girls and 1 boy) decided to go live with her mom like 2 years ago? Well she stayed there for one year (8th grade year basically) then decided to come back to live with me again last summer and while she did that my other daughter decided to go live with her mom lol... So one came back then the other one went... Not sure if she'll want to end up coming back or not, but it kind of seems like she does... I just don't push or bug her/them about it... If she does she'll let me know and of course always welcome to come back home... They're both teens now and definitely have my hands full!! I knew it was going to be tough, but it's a lot tougher than I thought, lol...

That's about it... Internet for me is not always on, matter of fact right now I'm using the neighbors wi-fi lol... But they know, so it's not like I stole or hacked their password... Its the only way to communicate with family and stuff since I don't have a phone... Plus to look for jobs and all that... I'm really hoping I can start getting some side work again now that its starting to warm up again, but still hasn't been anything...

I have like one month to try and come up with something because the electric company came to "Collect or Disconnect" since I haven't been able to pay and of course they want the full amount up front, so had no choice but to write a bad check just to keep it on for another month or so... I don't even have a checking account anymore, but they don't have a way to check if it's good when they come to the door, but since this is the second time I did that then it won't work again if they were to come as my account will move to a cash only status for awhile again... So I really have to try and find something so I can get an actual payment to them before next months billing... Not sure how long it'll hold them off for, last time I did it was in Jan and that held them off till now, but don't think it'll hold them off for that long this time... And that's just the electric... At least the gas company has kind of been working with me, but I haven to get small payments to them here and there and at least getting some help from family with that since it's not as high, but the electric people are asses and they won't work with me and just want it all up front and stuff...

I just wish things were like they were 5 years ago or so... Can't believe it's been that long since I've had a regular full time job!!! Well let's see, it's been 4 years and 4 months now, 12/09 was when I lost my job... Then I think it was like 2010 or 2011 is when I had to cancel my subscription to Alley's site and then just been trying to make ends meet any way I can... Sold everything I could like all my movies, games, stuff like that... Then was doing side work since like around Sept of 2012 till like xmas time last year, it was off and on, but it was pretty regular for awhile, especially during the summer and then slowed down again towards the end... But it helped get us through, unfortunately my friend that I was working for ended up selling his business to these two other guys that had been working there... It was a rock, flagstone, landscaping type business... Boulders, flagstone, rock benches, artwork, stuff like that... Well they weren't going to keep me on and pay me, plus they really couldn't afford another helper since they were taking over and stuff... So I understood, it sucked, but I understood...

I saw Alley posted something about moving to Florida and getting her nurse or medical degree?? I'll have to look around and see what all has been going on... What got me to post was I saw someone made a topic with my name and then when reading it I saw that it was a Picture Set Alley did and then saw how she named some of her sets after some of us long time members/followers... So that was cool and truly appreciate it... Surprised a lot still remembered about me lol...

That's about it for the most part... Still alive and trying to get things back in order... But like I said I would never forget you all or Alley and hopefully one of these days things will finally get better and I can get back on my feet and be back more like the good ol days... But I'm glad most of the regulars are still around... Definitely can't wait to be able subscribe again as I've seen some of the new sets!!! And Alley is STILL absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!!

I'll try to come by a little more though than before...

Jake aka Zombie
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AlleyBaggett · Official Model Joined: 15 Dec 2003 Posts: 2358

It's so nice to hear from you again Zombie! We all missed you! How's your health? I hope good... My brother went to rehab for 7 months recent... I was really hopeful and excited for him. He got out and immediately went back to doing what he was doing before. It's SO so sad. I feel so mad at him and every other horrible feeling. I just don't understand. I feel though, that people can't do anything to help. It has to be a choice of his own. I think that's one reason why I have a soft spot in my heart for you. That's why I have not forgotten about you... I am so happy to hear that you are staying strong with things in life. I want you to know, that I am wishing you the BEST! If you stay healthy, then your mind will be healthy and therefor your mind will bring you good things.

Kiss and Hug,
XOXO
ALLEY
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xoxoxo
ALLEY!

AlleyBaggett.Net - The Official Site
http://www.alleybaggett.net

Zombie · Rank: Junior Member Joined: 13 Feb 2005 Posts: 125

So sorry to hear your brother relapsed, especially after being in rehab... I am happy to say that I have been cleaned since September now... Kind of "relapsed" in a way, but its cause I got hurt really bad.. Had my ankle crushed by a HUGE boulder when we were moving it with the boom truck and I was mostly paying attention to the front part leading it in or forward and the back end came in swinging and I tried to move, but couldn't and my ankle got crushed by it against another boulder...

It was weird cause when I was at the hospital and the Dr gave me some pain killers and talking about it I got this cold sweat, kind of like afraid or maybe excited and once it hit I remembered that all to good feeling of relaxation and like all was well and I kind of started taking more than what I should, BUT, I was able to stop again before it got out of control and before I had to go "Dr shopping" since I had lost my one Dr that was prescribing my Oxycontins... So I guess that's been kind of good cause I don't really know anyone to "buy" pills and especially don't even have the money for them if I wanted to...

But I was able to quit again in September and haven't had any since... As for your brother, it really does have to be his decision... He'll have to hit rock bottom probably to finally get the mind set at least... If he has people supporting his habit though even if it's like you giving or loaning him money even though he says it might be for something else or your guy's parents, etc... If he doesn't have a Dr that he's getting them from and getting them from the streets and asks to borrow money or whatever for a bill or whatever and you or whomever is willing to help him out then pay the bill or go get what it is he was "needing/wanting" instead of giving him the actual cash...

It's ALWAYS in the back of your mind though... It SUCKS... You could be clean for years and years, but you always think about it, especially when bored and then start to think of excuses to maybe get back into them.. I've basically withdrawaled from people/friends especially the ones that get their own pills and stuff so they weren't triggers and just tried to keep busy... Like last spring/summer things were going good when I was off and I was doing the side work and landscaping, sure I had tons of excuses cause I was sore and or hurting, but the hurt and soreness felt good in a way cause it was from working and eventually got used to it... I did kind of start noticing that I was started to get back into how I would have been when I was on pills when I had gotten hurt and that was another huge reason why I stopped again and didn't continue down that path...

The biggest thing to get over though is the withdraws... People that have never been addicted or even dependent on opiate pain pills or even heroin since its kind of the same or at least part of the "opiate family" (which I can proudly say that I have NEVER EVER touched or tried heroin... I was close one time and kind of driving around looking for it because I was bout to run out of pills before my refill, but I had no clue where to go or how to ask or who to ask and was to afraid that I would get busted by an undercover cop or just a cop in general, so I ended up faking an injury and going to the ER... That was back in the days though....) But anyways...

People that have never had to go through withdraws just don't know how bad they can get and how horrible it is... That was the main thing why I didn't want to quit, if there was no withdraws then of course I would have stopped a lot sooner or even if they were a lot more milder than they really are... The worst for me was sleep... You honestly just can't sleep at all and you will try to, but you can't get comfortable cause you are achy and muscles are twitching, cramping, cold sweats, and what they call "Restless legs", but for me it was the insomnia that I hated cause you/I was up for days... I even tried taking sleeping pills, but that would just make my muscles feel worse, like that restless irritating feeling that you just want to beat out of you or rip your muscles out... Then you might dose off for like 5 mins if that, like tiny catnaps and I was always taking a hot shower to try and relax, but would be taking one like every 30 mins to every hour or so...

Maybe try to find out why your brother won't quit? But if he was already clean and rid of the withdraws completely and then went back into it and heavy into it, then yeah it could just be that's what he wants and the only way he'll quit is for him to get into that mind set and stay in it... Too bad we aren't close like me and your brother to see if maybe I could have helped him, but maybe just try supporting him when he wants to quit and if he relapses then don't be mad, but be understanding and try supporting him to quit again, but at the same time don't do anything that could help support or feed his addiction... Let him know that you will ALWAYS be there as long as he wants to get help and stay clean, but you can't be there nor help when he's using even if that's cutting him off from any kind of help especially financially because he might let his bills/food or whatever go so he could buy the pills or whatever and then depend or try borrowing from people to pay his bills and stuff...

If you need any other help or support and or just want to talk you can ALWAYS email me... I put my email address in the other thread where you asked where you could send the set named after me... I'd give you a phone #, but I honestly don't have a phone lol... I haven't had a cell phone in a couple of years now... I kind of enjoy it though, I just do everything by email or if I need to make calls somewhere or to family then I can call out locally through the computer for free, but it can't receive calls, so family will email me if they need me to call or whatever...

Hope that helps and keep me updated, I'd be more than happy to help you out with anything if or when needed...

Thanks,
Jake
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AlleyBaggett · Official Model Joined: 15 Dec 2003 Posts: 2358

You're so sweet Zombie! Thank you for caring. I think at this point, I can't help but be mad at him, unfortunately. I just don't get it. I mean...I understand....the withdrawals must be hard mentally and physically....but once you're clean for 7 months....shouldn't it be easier to decided to stay away? Well, I definitely don't send him money and things but I do know other family members who make it easier for him to stay addicted. It's so frustrating for me....

Anyway, enough of the sad talk... I am so proud of your success with sobriety!

As long as you have that.....you can begin the building phase of a truly happy life again.

I am sending your set now.....so ENJOY!
XOOX Very Happy

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xoxoxo
ALLEY!

AlleyBaggett.Net - The Official Site
http://www.alleybaggett.net