SexyFighters.com

[Traycee Williams]

Hi Alley,members in the forums, and guests,

I've had this major issue balled in my head about forgiving one of my close love one.He's my man, I've been with him 4 years.I'm not going into full detail about everything,but to shorten it out.We both are passionate in love with each other and throughout I've stayed loyal in the relationship.I found out he did cheated on me last year in '06,of course I had to break it off.

Months after months, he's been groveling over me,wanting me to give him a chance and after all, I've realized how much I missed him and that I still loved with all of my heart.So I decided to give him another chance,with all due respect---I knew deep within he was the man I've been wanting to be with for the rest of my life.He is the love of my life.We have a history together,its just overwhelming to me to see how our destroyed relationship went down.Now,everything in the relationship is so much better--I'm stronger than before and I grew wiser from the experienced & still balancing with the nursing major--hoping to finish my RN soon!

Overall, everything's been great--and finally I wrote him a letter for him to come clean and let me know everything,and anything but the truth of what he's done to me last year and so on....I recieve the letter recently,and it threw me off when he reveal his story.I was shocked,dissapointed, and felt as if my world was shattered again.I know it was the past,but this time around I didn't know there were more stories to it..It affected me alot and I wish things didn't came out the way it did.

Now, I'm confused.I'm torn in between the two of staying in the relationship and regaining my trust to grow again or to end the relationship for good.I'm glad he's opening up and being honest--but I wish he had told me sooner,I guess he was scared that I wouldn't continue the relationship if he told me the whole truth.I am on the merge to forgive,but when to think if it...its harder that I expected.I still love him and he's in love & obsess with me,forgiving is going to come out eventually somehow.

My question is, how do I learn to forgive him after the things he put me through??? Should I manage to let it all go as the past,and move on and work things out in my relationship with him? OR should I think about ending the relationship,since its been destroyed?

I've been humble--I have strength...his affect made me become the stronger woman I am today........

Please give me some advices so I can have a better perspective.
Thank you,
Love-
Traycee
_________________
B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

And if that makes me a bitch , so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

[AlleyBaggett]

HI Traycee,

It's good to hear from you.

I'm sorry your going through this....with your man.

My advice would be this:
Since you are NOT married and you don't have kids...life is WAY WAY too short to be spending it with one person if they have done ANYTHING to break your trust....ESPECIALLY if there are multiple stories involved. Considering sticking in the relationship is something you do if you are a married with kids. You guys are only dating. I know he's the love of your life and he's the one you saw yourself be with for the rest of your life....but didn't you feel that was before you found out what was going on? If you say....you still feel that way...then perhaps its you that needs sometime to grow as a person. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should want better for yourself. I believe once someone cheats....that's it. The trust is broken...how can things possibly be the way they once were?? You are a very beautiful, smart, caring girl.....and I know your Prince Charming is out there somewhere. I know you will bump into him someday. You just have to be available...and not blinded by someone else.

HAVE FUN GIRL!!! YOU ARE YOUNG AND HOT!!!

Good luck....I would love to know how things go.

I got your back

LOVE YA
_________________
xoxoxo
ALLEY!

AlleyBaggett.Net - The Official Site
http://www.alleybaggett.net

[nebraska]

Hi Traycee,

I think Alley hit the nail right on the head. I feel there is absolutly no situation why a man who is 100% committed to you and tells you how much in love with you he is, should cheat. If your man cheats, you are with the wrong man. Trust is ABSOLUTLY EVERYTHING in a relationship. Once trust is broken or waiverd in any way, the relationship can never be the same. You will always have that little bit of doubt.

I would never, never cheat on someone I was in love with and have a relationship with. Because if I truly loved her there is no way I would want to lose her trust and hurt her. There is no reason or excuse that if you truly love someone, why you think you could hit the sack with some really hot babe, for a few hours and it was really hot. Okay great, it was hot. But if a guy thinks he can justify a few hours of some hot sex, at the cost of hurting the woman of his life, that man in no way really loves you.

I'm with Alley on this one. If you are not married w/kids move on quickly. Cut your loses and lessons learned. You are with the wrong man period. You absolutly deserve to be with a man you can trust 100% do not settle for anything less. Only when you can love and trust someone with all your heart and trust, that is the only way you can find pure happiness and joy out of your relationship and life togeather. You are a nice looking woman, and I know there is someone out there that will love you for the person that you are. He will find you Traycee. You are not with the love of your life Traycee. If you were he would not have cheated on you and hurt you, and lose your trust for a stange peice. You do deseve a happy and heathy relationship and life with someone. This guy may have everything going for him in your eyes, but the single most important thing he doesn't have is your trust in him. Bottom line, cut him loose. He dosn't deserve you!!!!!

Best of luck to you Tracycee. I hope that you find what you are looking for and that you end up with someone that loves you unconditionlly and you can put your heart , soul and trust in that man. Then you will be with the right man and have a very happy life togeather. Remember trust is everything.


Blessings

nebraska

[AlleyBaggett]

AWWW Nebraska you are SOOOO sweet!

Thanks for giving Traycee some good advice and for caring.

A big kiss out to you....

MUAH
_________________
xoxoxo
ALLEY!

AlleyBaggett.Net - The Official Site
http://www.alleybaggett.net

[j3a]

hey traycee,

i'm sorry to hear that you are going through this difficult time... i have been there several times myself.
personally, i'm not the type of man that could cheat on my woman. i was not raised that way. besides, like nebraska said - any man that says he truely loves a woman, could not bring himself to cheat on her. i have been in two relationships where i was totally in love with a woman, and she cheated on me. the first time was an ex-girlfriend, i forgave her - we worked through it, but the trust was gone... it caused havoc for the rest of our relationship - it only lasted for about two more months after that. the second time that i was cheated on, it was by my ex-wife. she cheated on me three months into our marriage, with her ex boyfriend. but, we were now married, and i thought "for better or worse", right?? well, we were together for seven more years after that incident, and it was always lurking there in the back of my mind. i was totally devastated when it happened - i mean, this was my wife and i loved her with all my heart. i didn't really believe in divorce, and she was pregnant with my child... i felt i had to forgive her and make it work. but believe me, once the trust is gone - it is HARD to get past that and trust them again... like it's been mentioned before, without trust - there really can't exist a happy, fulfilling relationship.

if he TRULY loves you, he could not have done that to you once - let alone several times! i could never cheat on a woman i was with, not only because of how wrong it is, but now i know how much it hurts the other person. it REALLY hurts, thats why i sympathize with you. and i know many people will tell you and are telling you to not go back to him. and i know that it will be hard not to go back to him because you still have feelings for him - that is part of the reason why i forgave my ex - i still had feelings for her... BUT, with all that has gone on, and if you do get back together, i can almost guarantee you that it will not last... these incidents will come back to haunt you... HE BLEW IT - if he really cared, he would not have done this to you. you WILL find someone who deserves you, and wouldn't even think of cheating on you...

good luck traycee!
hope my story has helped you in your difficult decision...

- justin